Teaching Please to a Cranky Toddler
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Ever have those days when your kid wakes up cranky and you are desperate to make it through the day, let alone teach them something?
We had one of those days today.
We’ve been working on saying “please”. I’ve been trying to teach him the sign and say the word to ask for things. The little guy is actually pretty good at communicating for a one-year-old, but he doesn’t use a lot of words to do that communicating. Apparently signing a word can be a building block for saying it, so we’ve picked a few to work on.
So I was trying. I said and signed “please” every time I asked him to do anything. I asked him to say/sign it when he wanted me to do something. He seemed to just be ignoring me. And continuing his crankiness.
One of the guaranteed ways to distract my oldest son from whatever he’s upset about is to ask him to help me make something in the kitchen.
If he’s hungry it’s his next meal. If he’s not hungry, or especially if he’s cranky, it’s cookies.
And since Mommy has a serious sweet tooth, cookies win all too frequently. (I’ve been trying not to buy candy and treats and things, so we’re left with making them in order to satisfy that sweet tooth!)
After trying a number of different things to tease him into a better mood, and nothing working, we pulled out the big guns. Before breakfast was done, we were making cookies.
He climbs up on our five-gallon bucket of flour so he’s closer to the mixer and helps me dump everything in and turn the mixer on. I remember doing much the same thing with my mom and it makes me as happy as him when he does it!
But today was even more heart-warming.
Now, I know that you’re not supposed to eat cookie dough. Raw eggs and salmonella and all that. My grandma was a health inspector for her county and she used to always tell me that most food-borne illness won’t kill you…so what can I say, we eat cookie dough!
My oldest got a little bite of cookies dough and I sat down to feed the baby (don’t worry, no cookie dough for him!) After a few minutes, the older one started whining, clearly indicating he wanted more. And like every other time he whines for something, I tried to be patient and asked him to use his words and say please. Usually, this changes nothing. But this morning, it meant he stopped whining, looked straight at me and signed, please!!
It’s such a little thing, but it’s a little winning mom moment that you have to treasure. I don’t think there were any more pleases (at least definitely not that deliberate) all day. And I will continue to sign and say it in demonstration. But he’s starting to get it. He’s learning! My little boy is slowly but surely learning to sign/speak, to be polite, to listen.
And you’d better believe he got some more cookie dough!
Tips For Teaching Manners to Toddlers:
- Model the Behavior Our kids want to be Just. Like. Us. If you lick your fingers at the table, they will too. But if you use a napkin, they will too.
- Always Praise Good Behavior Positive Reinforcement always wins with kids. They’re looking for attention, they’re looking for accolades. Give them what they want and they’ll give you what you want.
- Gently Correct Incorrect Behavior Immediately If you wait and talk to them later, toddlers won’t make the connection. Jump in gently and remind them.
- Talk To Them About Why Ask them how they like to be treated. Talk to them about being nice and about flies and honey and vinegar.
- Practice it Over and Over Everyone learns through repetition. You didn’t learn overnight, and neither will they.