My Time Envelope System
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The Epiphany
Several years ago I hired a personal trainer. My main goal was to run a faster half marathon. I also figured that at age 30, it was probably about time I figured out how to work out. I’ve paid for gym memberships several times and wasn’t consistent about going, so I thought that putting money down for a trainer would help me work out better.
The good news is that it did make me work out better. I missed only one training session. I still only made it to the gym once a week for half an hour. It was an intense half an hour, but definitely I would have gotten more out of it had I worked out in between training sessions. But the thing is, half an hour once a week was still more than I’d ever managed to do, and I was seeing results.
Over the course of 10 months, I toned up (my clothes all fit!!) and I lost ten pounds. I’ve never done that! Yes, I could have done more, I could have been in better shape had I worked out more, but half an hour still made a difference.
Reflecting on those sessions, I started to wonder where else half an hour could make a difference.
Fast forward a few years, I’ve married and had children. Life is wonderful! And everyone around me worries and wonders about postpartum depression. I’ve been fine, but the advice I get from everyone is that new moms need to take care of themselves. So this half an hour concept came back into focus.
So far, I’ve had one rule: I get a shower every day. Some would say that’s too low of a goal, others would probably chastise me for letting my kids cry and run wild for even that long. They’re pretty good kids, so generally getting a shower isn’t a big deal. But even if they cry and destroy things, I get a shower, albeit a short one.
What if I spent half an hour a day on myself? To do whatever I wanted, for me. And maybe not a consecutive 30 minutes—maybe it’s 10 in the morning, five at lunch and 15 in the evening. Any way I get them, those 30 minutes might just keep postpartum issues at bay, and go a long
Part of me feels selfish. Another part of me knows that even just that little bit of time invested in myself might be the difference between a breakdown or sanity. Either way, the theory deserved an experiment.
My Epiphany Revisisted
You know those “Aha!” Moments in the shower? Shortly after this half hour idea, I had one. I understand the importance of “me” time for moms, but I’ve always taken seriously the scripture in Matthew 16:25, “For whosoever will save his life shall lose it: and whosoever will lose his life for my sake shall find it.”
I’ve never wanted to be a selfish person. I know that I need to take care of myself in order to be able to help others. And, let’s be honest, I’m not very good at putting others’ needs above my own. But I aspire to be that kind of person. I want to be giving and loving and kind and charitable. So why would I focus solely on spending time on myself every day?
Why wouldn’t I spend, in addition to an half hour on myself, an half hour on my husband? An half hour on my babies?
As moms, we have to spend time on others, particularly our kids. I wanted to take that a step further, and spend time that I WANT to spend on my husband and kids. Time where I focus entirely on them, their interests and wants. Their needs might come pretty easily, the things we focus every day on. I want my husband to remember that I spent time on the things he wants on a regular basis. I want my children to remember their mama spending time with them, playing and laughing.
Half an hour per day per person starts adding up. Then my mind started racing and wondering where else I should spend some time and attention. Beyond my little family, there are many more ideas where a half hour could go a long way.
All of these thoughts tumbling around in my head came into focus in one idea: I want to spend my time “laying up treasures in heaven”. I’m an accountant by training, and I frequently think about ways I can make or save money. But money is one of those things you can’t take with you when you die.
My Time Envelope System
Now, half an hour a day is both a lot and a little bit of time. And so my love of all things finance related came back into play, and I decided to implement an “envelope” system. After thinking about it, a set time limit is a little unrealistic. So for now, the envelopes have labels.
- God
- Spouse
- Children
- Extended Family
- Friends
This is where I want to focus my time. These are the priorities. Obviously, the “have-to’s” will take up a good portion of my day. But where I can choose to spend my time, I’ll choose one of these envelopes. And even my “have-to” parts of these envelopes can improve, quality-wise.
And maybe, just maybe, my treasures will grow and grow into unimaginable wealth-rich relationships and satisfying times.